How can something so little be so loud
Everything has been messy.
My relationships, my business, my inner voice, my self-critic, my body, and my vision have been contaminated with the pollution of a past experience that had built a house made of straw and cardboard.
Ever felt like your inner sanctitude of who you think you are can often become discombobulated with so much shit that simply is not yours to own?
I have spent the last 4 years combing through the messy, tangled, dirty exposure to generational patterns that have been only limiting.
We are told to sit with the discomfort and hold on tight to a bigger vision, and in the midst of regenerating your life from a dysfunctional system…this advice can feel like sliding down a landfill of sludge becoming stuck in a no-win situation.
Engaging with life appears unknown and can illuminate the illusion of a threat.
Leaping into beloved action can seem like you are back in the crisis of the never-ending pattern of generational trauma.
Sitting still can agitate the connective tissue holding the form of your life in place.
It is not that we are so limited in our endeavors. It is more that we are so caged into the extreme of that limitation and cannot hold the outer abundance in our reach.
We shut our bodies down and adapt to an inner intelligence that begins to coerce us into believing its illusionary ways and means of keeping us safe. Confusion is the blessing that disrupts the pattern of too far in the extreme.
Confusion is a state of awareness where you get to ask the curious nature of things, of people, of experiences.
Confusion leads to the next step.
There is ALWAYS a greater intelligence attracting your attention.
Back in the beginning of January, I was using my morning practice to delineate a mantra for the upcoming year. Each year, I allow the words of a phrase, statement or quote to guide my attention and elevate my awareness. It helps keep me curious and in awe of the hilarious nature of things in the everyday reality of our experiences.
My 2024 mantra is And She Flies.
When it came to me, I had no idea what to expect and, even more so, what it meant.
I am learning from the flight of everything.
Daily I am in a wondering state of what the birds who have come by me for a visit actually mean in a spiritual guidance sort of way.
I have been charmed by the hawk (which has been around for many years now), an owl, cardinal birds, the yellow finch, the raven, crows, vultures, hummingbirds, and, just this morning as I am writing on my deck, a blue jay.
One activated choice to believe otherwise can bring you to a better conscious reality than your conditioned past experiences.
A few weeks ago, I visited the beach and sat in awe of such majestic birds flying over our balcony. Brown pelicans literally flew by us and sometimes in a V formation. It was so flamboyant.
Missouri has been hit with the melodic sound of cicadas. These flying irritations may not be birds, yet they swarm around fluttering their iridescent wings creating a harmonious attraction for their mate.
There is a superstitious belief that when a bird poops on you, it is a good omen.
Birds and insects flying, in general, supersede any analytic sense. Plain and simple, all are mystical actions that help us contain ourselves in awe and wonder of the how.
How can something so little be so loud?
This is the defining curiosity that has taken up the space of my days.
How can a story of words and the sounds those words make up completely wipe out my daily allotment of energy? How can the sensation in my body feel so heavy and all-consuming? How can the small moment when something didn’t turn out take over control of my life?
How can something so little be so loud?
There is a defining curiosity and there is a defining identity that is seeking that magnetic attraction to be either confirmed or negated.
The cicadas are seeking a mate in their swarming buzz that many in my town find annoying. The fish in the sea are searching for food in their free flow of waving back and forth in the motion of the ocean. The birds are seeking adventure and nourishment in their navigational gaiety.
Every thought, feeling, and action is seeking its equal opportunity mate. Like attracts like.
When some moment does not turn out as you had envisioned, there is simply a misalignment or misfire of the like-seeking like. This is what we call an energetic repulsion. AND it is loud to get your attention to change course, adapt to a higher frequency and vibration, act in a more conscious manner, and believe in your true potential and not your past limitations.
“We all have unsuspected reserve of strength inside that emerges when life puts us to the test.”
-Isabel Allende
When life gets loud, you tap into that reserve. You go inward and you begin to realize what you are and you instantly are attracted to that which you see. You feel more powerful. And that good feeling sustains you while that moment of your life unfolds.
This is the beauty of life. We have so much more within our reach. An untapped potential that is often safeguarded for “special” moments or in real life…in the modes of crisis or extreme intervention.
Why do we wait for the loud noise before we tap into that true potential?
Carl Jung – A Swiss Psychiatrist who brought us Depth Psychology – believed,
“To the extent that a man is untrue to the law of his being…he has failed to realize his own life’s meaning.”
No individual is a failure. No moment is a waste. No relationship was unnecessary.
We often spend too much time running from the very desire of our heart and soul…to be liberated and set free to be who we are fully realized for it potential.
It is only when we welcome our limited capacity to understand and envision possibility, that we have pushed open an opportunity for something so massive and expansive to make its way to us.
The universe is always in your favor and cheering you on like the screams and chants that take place at a Lakers basketball game. We mistake our curiosity for resistance and thereby shut off the valve to an enlightened vision for our life.
Radically accept you for everything you are and everything you are not, for the scars of wounds and hurts that can feel like being squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste, for the errors in your thinking, judgments, and limiting beliefs about your capacity for change, adaptation, and potential. You do not require anyone’s permission or acceptance to be you.
You have always been you and will continue to be who.
Stop hiding the best version of you.
Recently, I went on a quick mini-family vacation to a place we hadn’t been in a long time. We had many memories from years ago and wanted to visit the place again. While we were there and enjoying every minute, we decided to go to a restaurant for dinner that our family had loved a long time ago.
We became grumpy and negative while we were there.
The host brought us to a table that did not have enough chairs or menus. The menus were old and almost unreadable. The food was marginal and lukewarm. The bartender displayed attitude when we ordered a drink from her as we were to be at another location. It was NOT the experience we had remembered from years ago. AND, it was over-priced for the food we received. We left the place in a grumpy and critical kind of complaining.
The next day I was speaking with one of my children and we both had an inkling of other places that would have been better and we both held back this insight from the group.
WHY?
Our psyche loves commonality and comfort. We are magnetic to memories to live out a happy time.
The error is that we forget that over time, each of us grows, evolves, and becomes unrecognizable. And, with that, we may want different things. It is okay to become a new version. Actually, some would defend the honor that it is almost of necessity to become a better version.
We complained and became grumpy because the experience of the past no longer served us. We had outgrown a place like that and food like that.
Only when we cultivate the practice of listening to our own insight and wisdom, can we align our choices with a higher and more evolved version of who we are.
Next time you hear yourself complaining or see yourself grumpy, ask –
What about this moment is an old experience for me?
What about this experience no longer serves my soul?
What am I wanting instead that I have not fully committed to?
How can I create the change needed to align with this new version of me?
Get curious in your messy moments. Curiosity leads to confusion which is a state of awareness that helps you sift through the limitations, unnecessary thoughts, feelings and actions, and begin to adapt to a new version.
Radically accept the moment and use its conditions to help you know yourself and connect to the deeper inner flame. Your potential will thank you later for the bold move to self-love all of who you are.